Saturday

Advantages to Online Dating

A quick foray into a bar or a nightclub reveals some of the major shortcomings of looking for romance in such places.  A combination of booming bass and shrieking laughter bombards you aurally, while a potent mix of cigarette smoke and spilt beer assails your olfactory senses.  Eventually, amidst the human chaos of the locale, a figure from the opposite side of the room piques your interest.  You fight your way through the crowd in the general direction of him/her and suddenly find yourself screaming in their ear because of the aforementioned noisy surroundings. 
The best case finds you exchanging hastily-scrawled phone numbers with the other person or following them out the door, while the worst case finds you feeling rejected and dejected.  Even the “middle” options are less than desirable; often, the person that attracted you physically does not do the same mentally or emotionally, and you’re stuck at an impasse with a minimum of things to talk about.
The truth is that dating in the traditional sense and settings is a distinctly hit-or-miss affair, and a largely impersonal one at that.  You find yourself drawn to another person not because of their intellect or their personality but rather because they are physically attractive.  As anybody who has lived and loved can attest, meaningful relationships are not built solely on the foundation of physical attraction.  You don’t know the person at the other end of the bar from a stranger, however, and thus you have no idea if their beauty is in fact skin deep.  Furthermore, even an indication that there is something else beneath the surface is hardly cause for relaxation; given the uncertainty of the other party’s history, there is no telling what sort of baggage you might be leaving with.
Online dating offers solutions to these problems in many cases.  For one thing, instigating romantic contact online markedly increases in your favor the odds that the other party is interested.  Think about it:  How many times have you browsed online classifieds without the barest trace of purpose or desire?  Having a receptive partner is half of the battle in itself.  Beyond that, online dating increases the likelihood of finding something beyond the initial attraction to sustain prolonged interest.  That’s not to say that physical attraction plays no role in online dating; photos are often associated with online personals, and as in life the most powerful impulses are often the visceral ones.  However, the pace of online dating allows you to find out a bit more about the other party than you would be able to in a different setting.  By the time you read their personal ad and their writing and (hopefully) exchange correspondence with them once or twice, you will probably have a decent idea as to whether the other person is the type that you would like to continue contact with.  If no, it is an easy affair to cease contact since neither party is intimately involved.  If yes, however, the base for a successful relationship has already been laid by communication.
Suffice it to say, online dating today has lost its “taboo” status.  Rather, it represents a viable alternative to those singles who are tired of continually finding the wrong person in the wrong environment.

Tuesday

Four Rules To Transform A Long Distance Love On The Internet Into A Normal Relationship


Let's suppose that you are meeting someone online
and that person seem to be the match of your life,
but is living far away from you. Does it worth
to spend your time in a long distance
relationship with this person?

What if this person is really your soul mate?

You may be surprised how much a relationship can
grow if you work at it. If you know and apply
some simple rules, your relationship can turn out
to be one of the most successful and happy
relationships that ever existed.

Distance, combined with phone calls and writing,
electronically or through regular mail, can
foster an enviable intimacy which results from
learning about another's qualities, values and
ways of thinking, sensitivities, dreams, and
aspirations. This type of intimacy can make your
coming together much more special.

And, as if relationships weren't complicated
enough, having them across a long distance is
extremely challenging. Just read the following
rules and try to keep them in mind and apply them:

1. The quality of a relationship is more likely
to increase if both people develop the ability to
share feelings openly with each other. Do not be
afraid to tell your partner what you really need
and want from him or her, he or she deserves to
know the truth and judge whether they can give it
to you.

2. Make the relationship a high priority. Avoid
canceling reunions or putting off a phone call.

3. Keep in touch daily. If large phone bills are
a concern, send e-mail, letters, cards and even
faxes. And when you do make contact, don't just
stick to love talk, but keep each other informed
on the day-to-day aspects of your lives. This way
each of you is aware of how the other is thinking,
feeling and developing. Late-night talks and
thoughtful letters can convey a lot of what is
most important in the long-term: your goals,
values and dreams.

4. Be prepared to be flexible. Tell your partner
of how much you think about and love him or her
and you will score some important points. Making
them miss you more and you’ll fill them with the
constant urge to see you. But don't be possessive.
Being paranoid and accusing will only grow
doubts, insecurity and tension between you and
none of those will help the relationship develop
successfully.

If your partner truly wants to be with you, then
they would not want to wait forever to have you
next to her or him. As long as you both trust
each other, inform one another of your personal
lives, keep in touch, your relationship can turn
out into a happy normal relationship.